Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
