Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
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