Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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