I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
