I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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