Soap is not a condiment
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
