So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Sext me about skeletons
Randomize