I'm drive I can fine osifer
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Randomize
