Sorry, I don't speak sober.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
