How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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