the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
