that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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