Is it normal to miss your booty call?
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize