you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Please don't give away my fajitas
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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