Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
