Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
