Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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