I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
