We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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