Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
