i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
