like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Randomize