The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
