we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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