you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
