So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
