careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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