Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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