In the future we'll all be gay
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
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