no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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