i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
