Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
