Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize