I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
