she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
