And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
