This girl is more easily done than said...
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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