I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
