I'm gonna have a badass scar
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
You need a sexual gate keeper
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Randomize
