Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
