Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
