I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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