He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
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