Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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