TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
