Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
