stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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