mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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