worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
