They should really pass out barf bags in church
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
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