Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
