It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize