what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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