Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
