youre lurking in front of me
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
