the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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