Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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