Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
