So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize
