Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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