He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
