Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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